I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
