did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
