They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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