Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
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It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
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Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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