I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize