And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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