he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
