When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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