Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
