dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
