Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Are my feet made of real feet?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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