I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
