thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
