Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My bed smells like the plague
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