Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
