You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
