I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
