Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
