yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
