you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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