I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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