none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
