I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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