singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
