You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
