I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
