It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
