i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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