Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize