I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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