My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize