You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
