Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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