Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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