just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
