I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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