If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
