She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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