Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
babies were throwing up all over the place
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
