End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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