i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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