You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Randomize
