Pants 0. Shit 1.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
