But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize