Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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