I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Can I color on your dick again?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
