tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
