you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
