East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize