no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
