I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
