Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
