I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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