Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
