Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one with the molecules
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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