Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize