just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
