Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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