Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
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Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
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Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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